What If: Ice Cream Kung Fu
by AxlMaster
Summary: What if instead of Raven Branwen coming to Yang's rescue, someone more...Chatty showed up?


Yang Xiao Long lay on the floor of the train car, defeated. Her battle against Neo had proven disastrous, with the girl's movements and agility bested Yang's more straight-forward boxing maneuvers. Now she was unconscious, at the mercy of one with no mercy to spare. A girl who strode up to Yang's body with a cane-sword in hand, ready to deal the death blow. The sword twirled in Neo's hands, quietly whistling its melody until she stood over her defeated her opponent.

The sword was raised, ready to plunge through Yang's heart, until...

"Hey," A voice spoke, alerting Neo to an unfamiliar person several feet in front of her.

"Can't help but notice you trying to kill my friend." The man mused with sarcastic tone. He was wearing a long grey jacket over some casual button down white shirt, and had medium length sapphire hair and strange glowing green eyes. He stood with hands in his pockets as he looked at Neo with neutral yet annoyed eyes, a look that barely, just barely put Neo on edge. This kid showed up out of nowhere. He could've taken her out if he was able to sneak in like this. But he didn't seem to be that smart...Or even possessing much intelligence at all in fact, because he kept staring at her hair like it was a giant new toy. Like a little kid he stared, curious.

"What's with the hair, if you don't mind me asking. I mean, I've got blue hair so I'm one to talk, but you've got some dye like that one ice cream flavor...Which one was that?"

And in one swoop he proved himself an idiot.

Neo sheathed her sword with a smirk. She could take this idiot, whoever he was. Some rich boy with too much free time on his hand. She had him pegged, just some kid with a lot of family influence. He was obviously in over his head, otherwise he wouldn't try taking her on by himself, as Yang had tried. Though, it was a little odd that he had managed to show up out of thin air on her, the master of disappearing into thin air. She thought it was best to be cautious, and thus took several steps back while she scanned him, looking for weaknesses. This boy was odd...

"So what's your name? Sorbet? That's the ice cream right?"

Very odd...

"Strawberry? There's a lot of pink on you...Not enough though..Honestly I never really remembered ice creams, though mint was my favorite."

Neo wasn't sure if he was insane or just dim...But it was strangely methodical. He stood with that relaxed pose, occasionally glancing down at Yang with those green eyes. He was definitely concerned about the blondie's safety first and foremost, but what was his angle?

"...You're really not much of a talker are you? Well, the name's Axel." He flared his coat out behind him, and took a low, graceful bow with his hands at his side.

"at your service miss..." He looked up at her. "Rocky road?"

Neo concluded he was in fact an absolute moron, and that impression only grew when his eyebrow shot up his forehead.

"Actually, you don't look like a 'rocky.' Too small."

…..Small?

As if in response, the annoying blue-haired twat let out a snake-like smirk on his lips.

"But then again, I'm sure you get that a lot."

Neo quickly drew her parasoul, aiming it at the one idiot calling himself Axel to blow his miserable little brains out. But with unnatural speed Axel's right hand, that had remained at his bowing side suddenly blurred to whip out a massive shining pistol. He had used that gesture to get near his weapon! He took aim, firing several loud shots aimed at Neo's head.

They connected. In fact they hit so hard that Neo's entire body shattered into glass. Axel quickly widened his field of view to keep ready for a surprise attack.

"_Alright...Glass Clones..." _Blake had told him everything she knew about this girl, especially that her Semblance let her and Roman escape a few weeks ago. Now that she disappeared, she was inevitably going to try catching him unawares, though the key word was try. Axel slowly rotated where he stood, looking for signs of the ice cream girl.

"Gotta say you're not exactly original-"

Axel backflipped high in the air, as a potent explosive blast of dust whistled through the air where he once stood. His acrobatics landed him on the ceiling, to see the surprised face of Neo looking up at him. How had he seen that!?

"-nor are you creative." He kicked off the car ceiling to rocket straight at her, and Neo only just barely flipped away when his fist slammed into the hard metal, denting it with a loud and painful groan.

Neo smirked again, that was the most straightforward attack she'd seen. This idiot had nothing but his annoying mouth and a gun. Sensing an opening, Neo dashed and flipped overhead to send a roundhouse kick to the side of his head. Her boot connected with its target, but only just for a split second. His head moved **with **her blow, lessening the impact to where he simply rolled out of the way to regain his footing.

The ice cream girl re-engaged him, coming at him with a flurry of strikes, her parasoul served as a makeshift bludgeon to knock his stupid head off. She made for a horizontal swipe only for him to dodge along the attacks direction. With surprising speed his fist shot straight at her ribcage, but using her feet, Neo pivoted around the strike to swing her leg to every man's vulnerable spot.

"Low blow Sorbet!"

Axel swung his head back, bending at the knees with an unexpected grace and flexibility to become a perfect L-shape just as her leg swung over him, and his own backflip almost hit his opponents leg with frightening speed.

To Neo's annoyance, he performed several flips as she tried to trip him up. Her swipes at his legs would miss, and attacking his arms was almost impossible. He flowed, swerving around and under her swipes and jabs like it was a smooth ballroom dance to him. Her numerous kicks would only hit empty air as he moved in conjuncture with the strikes, to where it was like a synchronized dance of pure frustration.

"Am I moving too slow for you? I can go faster if you like." and he wouldn't shut the hell up!

He would zip around her strikes, solely reacting to her own attacks and backing up when she displayed an opening he should have inevitably exploited. He wasn't even attacking her aside from an occasional jab or lazy swipe that were ridiculously easy to slip around.

Neo swung at his legs, causing Axel to slide over to a pile of crates, lightly bumping against them to see his opponent swinging her parasoul at his head in a downward swipe. Axel nudged his head to the side so that the weapon embedded itself in the crate, sending wood-chips flying in all directions. He looked at Neo with an embarrassed grin.

"So do you greet all the boys like this? Or is it just the lucky few?"

Idiot.

Neo promptly swung her leg to his ribcage, only for it to collide with his forearm and stopping dead in its tracks. To her surprise his arm didn't even remotely buckle under her attack, and in fact her shin hurt from hitting something with a metallic clang. Axel smirked, now with something to use.

His arm moved to grab her entire leg, locking her in place with an iron-grip. Neo barely had time to notice a metallic glint up his sleeve before a blade shot out of his arm, straight at her head.

She moved her waist enough to dodge the weapon, but just as she turned her head to the side, she collided with the blue idiot's other fist. The blow knocked her back through the air and left her struggling to reposition herself so that she landed with a rough skid on the metal floor. After slowing to a painful stop, she looked up to see her opponent, still sporting a smug grin.

"Am I playing too rough?"

Axel stood in front of Yang's body with his blade still extended.

Neo rubbed her cheek as the full brunt of the hit made her sore. He masked the real attack with his straight-forward stab, using that as a diversion to punch her. Neo was greatly annoyed by the fact he hadn't even been using his real weapon this whole time.

He was playing with her. His neon eyes were watching her every attack, learning and analyzing while he just skirted around her attacks.

Now the moron stood there, like a guard over Yang's unconscious form. Neo couldn't place why, but it felt like she was staring down a stories-high behemoth, a guardian that stood stronger than the mightiest Grimm, but he stood with an arrogant glint in his eyes that really made her want to gut him.

With another smirk, Axel held out his other arm, pointing at her like an accusation was on his lips, but if it was he didn't vocalize it. Instead, he tilted his gloved hand up so that the underside of his sleeve hung freely. With a faint metallic clinking sound, a small metal tube poked out of his jacket sleeve. Neo didn't know what that was, but it had to be dangerous like the rest of this seeming buffoons abilities. She had to get behind him, and readied her parasoul again. But Axel smirked.

"Because I play for keeps, Vanilla Bean." The metal tube glowed with a faint red light, and burst a brilliant ball of yellow-hot flame that rocketed straight at Neo's parasoul-shield.

As before, the image of her shattered into hundreds of tiny shards. The explosive dust shot blasted aside several crates and container, utterly disintegrating the shards in the process. Neo of course was gone again, leaving Axel alone in the car. His eyes quickly darted from side to side, quietly whirring as he rotated through his settings. Infrared, blacklight, x-ray, the Katzen Augen scrolled through them with all the efficiency of top-of-the-line Krieger tech. Then his HUD flashed green, indicating target lock on a glowing red shape moving overhead.

"_Gotcha."_

Neo quietly fell from the ceiling with parasol in hand. She brought her weapon down to his head with lightning speed. But the moron moved even faster than her, he completely spun around and blocked her strike with his own blade. The force of Neo's blow forced the very metal beneath his feet to bend and even crack. But Axel's knees only bent slightly, and his arms remained affixed to keep her attack from advancing any further, leaving Neo confused and enraged. Nobody could see her when she moved after her Semblance activated. It shouldn't even be possible!

"Your technique is good!" Axel grunted. Neo only looked at him, her smirk long gone.

"I honestly haven't ever seen a Semblance like that! It's quite impressive!"

Again with the chatter! Neo tried pushing down on him, but he wouldn't budge.

"Although, five to six seconds prep time isn't quite optimal," He knew!? How the hell-

"I mean, my sister could headshot you before you finished, and an attack with a large enough blast radius like from my leader would just neutralize any advantages it got you." He had analyzed her Semblance, countered it, and now he had the sheer gall to criticize it!?

"Also, that energy sig you give off when you disappear," His mechanical eyes looked into hers, flashing with his green glow and dilating as he zoomed in. "I could see it with my eyes closed."

Neo quickly sprung off of Axel's hands to soar over him, and landed on the far side of the car with impressive grace. She slowly rose, and glared at her would-be opponent with white, icy eyes of pure killing intent. No more joking around or toying with him like she had with Yang. He knew her Semblance, could counter it, and he could move like freaking water around her strikes. That was it. She'd had enough, she was going to slice him to ribbons and smile while doing it.

Neo drew her long, thin sword from the parasoul and readied her elegant stance, now she was eager to make him bleed. Feet apart, right one pointed straight ahead, left foot to her side with her sword angled to pointing just above his head. Axel grinned again, to her every mounting anger.

"Guess the playtime's over." He held out his extended arm blade at his side, and with a flick of his wrist the weapon shot out of his sleeve, landing in his hand. A one bladed sword with an angled tip, that glistened brilliantly even in this dark car.

"Come on."

He taunted her again with that annoying smirk. That was her thing dammit!

Neo turned into a fierce blur, zipping diagonally back and forth to move closer to her target with each movement, sliding along the ground before springing up into his path. Axel seemed to copy her own move as she flew, sliding away from her strike before bouncing up, striking at her sword while upside down in the air. Neo managed to block it just in time, only to see his pistol aligning itself to her foot. Nimbly she hopped back as a shot embedded itself in the floor.

Axel quickly landed on the ground, rolling forward and dashing along the right while firing another shot at her. In response Neo jumped up, clear of the bullet's path.

But just as quickly Axel hopped atop a crate, and it promptly burst under his feet when his boots flared with an intense blast of blue flame that launched him up to the wall. Before Neo could even react he bounced off the nearby metal wall, directing his feet square at her back. She twisted in the air, rotating to block his double-foot strike with her blade. She succeeded, but at the cost of getting launched like a ragdoll. Axel landed after her, bending the floor as he rocketed with a burst of speed. Neo dodged a heavy slash at her midriff to counter with a series of agile jabs and swipes.

Axel changed his grip to two-handed, blocking and sliding around her attacks with his considerably wider blade. Her attack at his arm slipped along his sword, so she moved to slice his stomach but was parried by the weapons flat side. Her elegant attacks bounced off his more improvised form, and to make matters worse, he was grinning!

"Fencing. Very impressive Mint Chip." The idiot chirped again. Neo made for his throat, but Axel nimbly jumped back, his eyes riveted to her own despite his annoying relaxed demeanor. He was almost cat-like in how he focused on her each and every movement, not leaving out a single detail yet somehow still looking at her like an absolutely spellbound moron.

"Your form is quite elegant and well-refined, you could cut back on all the flourish though."

Axel's words were interrupted when Neo, finally having enough of his yammering, made a straightforward jab, rushing forward with such speed she practically glided across the floor with sword out-stretched in front of her. She'd skewer the little pissant if it was the last thing she did.

When she got in arms reach her sword shot forward at his heart. As she expected, Axel managed to dodge the initial stab, but he didn't see the second one. Neo retracted her arm so quickly that Axel couldn't react until after he felt some cold metal sliding alongside his right hand, making it feel unpleasantly warm. With pure luck he managed to grip the sword, further bloodying himself as the blade passed through his flesh. Axel barely grimaced, using this golden opportunity to deliver a solid knee into Neo's stomach.

She was knocked back a bit, but quickly regained her footing to zip around him, turning on a time to thrust at him from the side. He was lucky, but now he would die under her full-speed barrage. With speed ten times greater than what she had ever used, Neo thrusted her sword straight at his neck...Only to hit empty air. Her sword passed above his now ducked head, and he looked up at her with a sly grin, and glowing green eyes that hummed with some bizarre power.

"Come on Strawberry, let's dance."

Those damn nicknames!

Neo thrust at the moron with an unseen fury. Her first jab was sluggish compared to the sheer speed she now used in her attack. When it looked like she had finished an attack, twelve more followed suit. Each stab was so fast, the time between them was practically unnoticeable. Each strike was indistinguishable in the storm of hundreds of attacks. She could stab a Grimm ten thousand times before it hit the ground with this speed.

But Axel wasn't getting hit. Not once were the attacks even scratching his smug face!

"Okay, you don't like Strawberry.." He was still talking even when a wrong move would kill him! Neo's smirk had long since turned into a furious snarl, and she increased her speed to keep him boxed in. He had to have a breaking point, everything would break with enough pressure, she just had to figure out his, and she would find it if it was the last thing she did.

"Vanilla Bean didn't work..and I'm guessing Chocolate is off the menu.." His movements were impossible to track in a blur of speed. This didn't make sense, his reactions shouldn't have been able to keep up with her. Neo guessed it was something to do with his eyes glowing, but she didn't care about his damn powers, she wanted this idiot dead! Said idiot, who was still talking!

"You've got brown, white, and pink on you so..." If he said it...

"Oh I get it!" Axel snapped his fingers in spite of the barrage. "Your names Neopolitan!"

That line was the final straw that broke the cammell's back. Neo's quiet composure utterly shattered, and her attacks completely lost their grace and practiced form. She bent at the knees and only stabbed out of pure fury, angry instinct fueling her urge, no her need to kill the moron who wouldn't stop talking in the middle of a fight! Keeping silent let her focus her skills, so why the hell wasn't he faltering in the slightest even when he was running his mouth.

Even under her ferocious barrage he was barely reacting, instead looking at her with a childlike glee, whether out of madness or stupidity, he looked thrilled.

"I got it! Sweet! That is an awesome name! Bit long though..."

He kept matching her speed!

"I would be so down to hear the story on that name,"

Then, he caught her sword.

"but as you've shown," Neo's stomach felt funny. She suddenly felt like she was in the den of a colossal monster. The world around her felt cold. What little color there was in her cheeks rapidly faded when those green eyes looked at her, boring into her very soul. Looking at her like a piece of trash. Something he was utterly disgusted at seeing before him. His eyes spoke of frightening skill and intellect, a mind that had been hiding this whole time. Neo realized with a nervous gulp that she was dealing with someone of far, far, far higher caliber than the blondie.

Suddenly Axel eyes flickered, changing briefly from green to a deep blood red.

"you're not much of a talker, Neo."

Then, another blade extended, from his other arm this time! Neo moved to swipe his other hand, but the blade he wielded almost cut her arm off before she could. She only just barely managed to move, before a solid piece of metal slammed into her side, knocking her loose and dizzying her vision.

Neo looked up to see a black and blue blur zipping low along the ground and slithering side to side, almost like a snake in its fluidity, and like a King Taijitu he bolted straight at her with two menacing blades ready to impale her. She flared open her parasoul, and Axel's charging tactic was doomed to fail against her shield. Even two blades would just glance off it.

But then something beeped at her feet, the bullet….Then everything went white.

For a split second, Neo lost all sense of where she was. The world was completely unusual to her. There was no color, no sound or smells. No depth to anything. She had lost sense of...Everything. Where was she, what did that insane bastard do!? A flare!?

She couldn't answer that question, as one of his blades struck her arm. The cold steel moved uninterrupted alongside her forearm, sliding on its surface instead of plunging through muscle. Then, another strike happened, his other blade shot forward, lightly nicking her left shoulder. His two outstretched arms then darted to slam into the side of her head and her right shoulder, stunning her with the sudden fierce impact to knock her off balance.

Then Neo felt herself being hit by dozens of blunt metal objects, strong bludgeoning attacks that would've killed her if she didn't possess such a strong aura. But each blow still hurt like hell, and the actual blades hit like nothing she'd ever felt before. Neo was caught up in a whirlwind of cuts, impacts, and pain under his ruthless volley. Each second grew only more painful, and Neo got more and more angry.

Axel's blades retracted into his sleeves while he smoothly drew back his fists. He delivered a lightning fast kick to her stomach, following it up with a quick and furious barrage of punches that peppered her ribcage in mere seconds flat. Smooth and seamless between strikes. Elbow, fist, uppercut, chop, every single attack she could think of was slamming into her without mercy.

Neo struggled under his attack, swinging her sword at his side only to once again hit nothing but empty air. Axel sidestepped before she had even completed her attack, and then he turned into a blur as his leg shot out, kicking her blade through the air. Then, he zipped up right in front of the heavily dazed Neo, and pushed his open palm up against her stomach. Neo only just noticed that with this gesture, the small metal tube extended from his arm.

A light came from his wrist...

She regained the feeling in her hand to realize she was lying on the floor of the train car, still in battle with the fool. Thankfully her parasoul and sword were next to her, but the latter bore several very large scorch and dent marks from...Something.

It was only until she looked up did Neo see that in front of her, most of the floor and ceiling were scorched. Black ash littered the dented car like some massive explosion had just gone off, and judging from the intense burning sensation in her chest, Neo guessed something really had gone off. But if he had just done a cataclysmic finisher move, he didn't seem like it. He looked absolutely nonchalant, all air of his demonic and hellish presence were gone from his eyes as he stared off into space. His hand was raised to his ear, opening his comms to someone.

"Yeah I made it on. I ran into one of Roman's cronies, that ice cream...I'm telling you she looks like ice cream...Okay okay...Yeah, I found Yang...She's banged up, but nothing serious...Yeah, once I'm done here I'll hop off and meet up with you guys..." Arrogant prick.

"Also Boss, the train is headed straight for the city...Yep, right for it...I'd say, fifteen, twenty minutes...Yeah, the Grimm tailing us are massing, we'll have a clusterf- right...Gotcha...Right, I'll grab her and get out of here...And you called Ozpin?...Good...I'll be ready for pick up when you are."

Axel finished his transmission, turning to look back at the bruised and battered but certainly not beaten Neo, who rose with a faintly shaky stance and aching snarl. She gripped her sword with tight hands. She had been hit hard by whatever bizarre technique he used at point blank, but she was more than ready to continue...In fact, she had tricks of her own up her sleeve..

"As per my team leaders instructions, you'll be getting a chance to surrender."

He couldn't be serious...

"Give up now and I guarantee no more harm will come to you." He was!?

Axel reached into the back of his belt, holding some small black case in his hand. Neo looked at him with faint suspicion, but did not falter. This was personal now, and she would make him suffer for humiliating her so. No, Neo would deny him victory. This fool would die, now!

"This is also your only chance, Neo." He held the tiny black case, tossing it with a lazy grace that irritated Neo. She was far past killing him quickly, now she wanted him to scream in pain when she drove her sword through his heart and felt his last breaths. He had mocked her, played with her like a fiddle, and kicked her ass something fierce, all while taunting her with an idiotic persona that masked...Something dwelling beneath. He stood there, tossing his black case with a quiet whistle coming from his lips, an annoying tune that...Haunted the air.

"Well, I doubt you'll want to anyways, will you." he snickered.

Neo readied her parasoul and sword, one in each hand. She wanted his blood now, and by god she would have it. With a newly focused anger, she called upon the arts she was taught from birth, meant to kill without mercy. Today she would bathe the train tracks in this boy's blood. Her body flared with a white and black flame. Her power was surfacing, and he would die..

"So, there's the answer." Axel caught the black case, and pressed a tiny button on the hair glowed with a blue-fiery aura. Neo felt that same foreboding taste in the air. The air itself felt heavy.

"Alright then. I was looking for a chance to test my full abilities anyway."

Neo's breathing became labored and difficult. Something was very wrong here, and it radiated from the blue-haired fool before her, the moron who looked at her with eyes so cold that Neo felt a chill pass through her spine.

""Miss Neo, allow me to reintroduce myself." Then, his black case flashed with a pale blue light. The light itself had shape, and it unfolded into a much longer black sheath. A digistructed weapon, able to be carried with ease and rebuilt at a moments notice. The look of the fully formed weapon filled Neo with something she only felt once in her life, and that was when she saw the blade's original wielder. Fear. That fear only grew when Axel's eyes turned that sickly red, and his sclera became black as night. Then, he opened his mouth and spoke with a voice that defied reality, that filled Neo with pure terror.

**"Coram me inferno."** His hair suddenly caught a blue flame-like aura. Neo felt a wall of air collide with her body, a harsh burst that didn't physically harm her, but the aura he was radiating defied reality. This fool, this motor-mouthed idiot was far more than he appeared. He carried that faunus maniacs blade...He was the one who killed Adam...This was Axel Krieger...

**"Ego sum Damon.."** The sword slid from its sheath, revealing the shining sapphire blade. The fiery blue aura made no sound, but even from this distance, Neo could feel the heat emanating from her opponent. This was power unlike any she had ever seen. Something this strong wasn't natural...This was a nightmare..

She only had one option, the cowards way out.

Neo promptly dispelled her magic. She would have to wait for another opportunity to kill this...Person. As she was now, it was best to cut losses and run. With that in mind, she sheathed her sword, readying her parasol over her shoulder, keeping her eyes affixed to Axel. One second of distraction and he could be on her in a flash. But he didn't seem to have any intention of attacking...Or did he? She didn't know, but she wasn't about to stick around.

Neo swiped her air behind her, creating a white misty substance in the air. She gave a mocking bow to Axel before quickly dashing through the portal. After she passed through, the mist quickly dissipated into nothing, leaving Axel and an unconscious Yang in the scorched train car.

Axel dispelled his power with a deep and calming sigh, casting off his second aura while deconstructing the sword. With a brisk stride towards Yang, he placed it back into his utility belt, and bent down to pick up the blond bruiser in his arms, holding her over his shoulder. While he strolled up to the car door, his comm beeped in his ear.

"Axel, we're ready for your pickup."

"Roger that sis." he confirmed. With a faint chuckle, he readjusted Yang. Then with one pull, he slammed the door open, allowing an absolutely crushing blast of air to come rushing into the car. Axel diverted his eyes until the added shielding kicked in, and he looked outside to the lovely sight of a kilometers long tunnel that blurred together into a big brown mess as the train rocketed through, headed towards Beacon. Axel looked behind the train to see an impossibly large number of Grimm. Beowolves, Ursa, Boars, King Taijitu's, Deathstalkers, Nevermores. It couldn't get any worse than this.

"Guys, waiting on that pickup."

"Sit tight, we're right above you."

Suddenly, from one of the holes that the Grimm dropped through, a small gray machine dropped down.

"Pelican en route to extract bluebird, Pelican en route to extract bluebird." Nadja chirped.

"I always get the shitty names." With one smooth motion, Axel lept up to the car roof, swinging over it with one hand to land atop it. He whistled loudly, signaling his new ride to swing in low.

He could see from within in the cockpit that his teammate was at the helm, and giving a nonchalant salute. The aircraft zipped around several large stone pillars, coming in hot to float alongside the train. The belly of the aircraft clanked open and extended a tiny ramp that proved hilariously useless in ops like these. But then again they were used to ops like these.

With Yang in hand, Axel dashed off the train with enough speed to not get sent flying like a ragdoll, nimbly landing inside the hold with Yang in hand. The door quickly closed shut, and the Boss and Nadja arrived to help him with Yang to set her down in a chair. Nadja ran a quick bio-scan of her patient, looking satisfied.

"She'll probably have a bruised ego, but she'll be fine."

The Boss nodded in response to the diagnosis.

"What took you so long?" she asked Axel, looking faintly annoyed, yet amused.

"Eh, making sure Neo got her...Just desserts."

". . .Axel, no."

"No brother!"

"OH HELL NO RUSTBUCKET!"


End file.
